You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize