Its about making memories worth repressing
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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