Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
