that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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