he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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