You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
