Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do you remember whose house we're in?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
