At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You pole danced in your parka.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
