Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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