very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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