I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize