I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize