Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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