New invention idea: vibrating tampons
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
