the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize