I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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