i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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