Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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