I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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