are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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