This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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