I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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