some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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