This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
