She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize