I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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