Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize