I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
