If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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