I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
