Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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