Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I cut my penus on the lid.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
