Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Randomize