how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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