after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
