TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
