is your mom at the bar?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
