I think i peed on brittanys purse
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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