I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
