he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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