You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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