I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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