Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
