We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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