i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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