Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need to wash the frat house off of me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize