how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
