Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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