Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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