He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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