He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
zippers are such a cool invention
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
