I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
