I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
