dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
