I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?