Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just fell off a train. Bad.

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  (512): Just fell off a train. Bad. http://tfl.nu/32cv
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (1152)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

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  (978): During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand http://tfl.nu/wt71
  Replies (35) Good night (4227) Bad night (1501)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I smell stomach acid.

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  (304): I smell stomach acid. http://tfl.nu/n8wy
  Replies (13) Good night (792) Bad night (2880)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

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  (708): I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle. http://tfl.nu/qqv1
  Replies (12) Good night (560) Bad night (4025)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.

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  (732): They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody. http://tfl.nu/blud
  Replies (55) Good night (11015) Bad night (1104)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse

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  (781): Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse http://tfl.nu/l7qs
  Replies (46) Good night (916) Bad night (7591)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks

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  (734): dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks http://tfl.nu/2ro0
  Replies (28) Good night (4414) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.

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  (305): It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me. http://tfl.nu/n11o
  Replies (46) Good night (2336) Bad night (8045)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.

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  (828): I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm. http://tfl.nu/jyta
  Replies (19) Good night (747) Bad night (4571)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.

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  (919): Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed. http://tfl.nu/csse
  Replies (9) Good night (3252) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?

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  (256): Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August. (662): Dude, how the hell did you become an RA? http://tfl.nu/0n3i
  Replies (6) Good night (4007) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA

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  (302): THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA http://tfl.nu/kl6y
  Replies (6) Good night (1293) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right

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  (859): I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right http://tfl.nu/hkaq
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.

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  (954): Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs. http://tfl.nu/o9g6
  Replies (3) Good night (464) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need

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  (908): It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need http://tfl.nu/txcf
  Replies (3) Good night (407) Bad night (159)

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