So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
