I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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