Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
