If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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