I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize