i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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