you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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