and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
