we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
