I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
