We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
