Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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