i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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