sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
