it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
