He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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