come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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