we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
